Shaolin Soccer – An Oldie but a Goldie

I saw this masterpiece years ago, and it remains one of my fondest memories to this day. A former Shaolin monk reunites his five brothers, years after their master’s death, to apply their superhuman martial arts skills to play soccer and bring Shaolin kung fu to the masses.

Trailer:

Why did no-one think of this before?!

What was a Flying Fist of Shaolin Dragon Kick to the Face of Awesome:

1. The choreography was sublime. The melding of Kung Fu and Football (Soccer) was flawless. And I kid you not, I found myself wondering why China was not more dominant in the sport! Why WOULDN’T they teach their players the art of Kung Fu and be able to do these things??? Imagine if the Harlem Globetrotters were to play against a regular team. All the tricks, shots, flair. Everything is successful. That’s how great the Kung Fu moves were on the field!!

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Boom! Messi eat your heart out!!

2. Stephen Chow is a Kung Fu Comic genius. His facial expressions and movements are like a Shaolin Charlie Chaplin. It’s endearing and disarming all at once. This movie belongs to him and he milks every scene he’s in for comic gold.

3. The climactic act against the evil soccer team who are *spoiler* using performance enhancing drugs to increase their power (who knew it could be so politically on point) is a worthy end to a great movie.

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Evil striker says wha…..aaattt the fuck???

What wasn’t so good?
Nothing. I have no complaints about this movie. It’s funny. It’s fun to watch. You don’t like funny movies? Then don’t watch it. You like funny movies? Then watch it. Simple.

Conclusion

This. This is all…

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This movie get’s ALLLLLL the stars!

5 Stale Popcorns

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