Sharknado 3: Oh Hell Yes

There was a scene in the second spiderman movie (The Sam Raimi ones, the ones that were “ok” and not the recent round of suck that was….I digress…), where Doctor Octopus’ invention (a small sun) becomes self sustaining and unstoppable. That’s the closest analogy I can think of for the Sharknado phenomena. It’s now become it’s own beast, unstoppable, and self sustaining. At this point the writers could sit back and let the movie create itself. However, that being said, it’s really really enjoyable watching all these cameos, the ridiculous situations, the seriousness with witch both Tara Reid and Ian Zeirig through themselves into their respective roles. Let’s break it down into it’s best parts.

First, the very self aware trailer:

Secondly, the”science” is incredible. The Sharks are LIVING in the storm now, eating birds and surviving. Wow. Awesome. And i mean that sincerely with zero sarcasm.

Thirdly, what has to be the BEST DEATH SCENE I’VE EVER SEEN! From none other than Frankie Muniz Jr no less!! Take a look at this gif, which doesn’t do this justice.

frankiemuniz

Tis but a flesh wound milady!

Some of the other cameos were great and unexpected. This is one of those movies where you don’t want any spoilers before seeing it, so as to properly enjoy the experience.

Now there were a couple moments where I felt they could have capitalized a bit more.

Lou Ferrigno. The man is a legend, and he dropped the line “Don’t make me angry” before becoming shark food. Awesome. But if he’d gotten covered in like green pate or paint or something first, and maybe ripped a shark apart with his bare hands, it would have been awesome.

Chris Jericho. Wrestling god. He had a nice role, but I’d have loved to see him put a shark in the “walls of Jericho” at some point. I’d have “marked out”.

chrisjericho
Stephanie McMahon must have sent that enforcer shark!

The last 15 minutes of the movie I was LITERALLY sitting there with my mouth wide open, an occasional joyful laugh escaping my mouth. This was amazing amazing television. Space Sharks! Light Saber Chain Saw! Swallowed whole by sharks! Re-entry from space inside the shark! Punching a hole in shark! Parachute! GLOOOOORIOUS!!!

glorious

Conclusion:

I look forward to part 4 next year. What a nice yearly treat this is. However if Frankie Muniz doesn’t appear in the next one, perhaps with full on robotic shark killing limbs, or as an Online Web AI (a la Arnim Zola), I’d be very disappointed. Don’t let me down Asylum, you sweet sweet bastards.

5 Stale Popcorns(fin)

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